Adapting to Change: A Coach’s Wife Life

Forward

I have spent the last eight days engulfed in a writing intensive workshop- ABYDOS, formerly the New Jersey Writing Project. English teacher friends, if you ever have the opportunity to take this workshop, DO IT! You will NOT be disappointed. With that said, we have spent that last eight days immersed in all things writing and reading. We were tasked with creating a reflexive piece- a piece that details our own experiences. After a variety of pre writing activities, one common theme in all my writings were this coach's wife life. Thus, this piece was born. S/O to the community of wives that have inspired me when my heart was tired and the days were long. 

Adapting to Change: A Coach's Wife Life

Faith. Family. Football. The motto that became a vision ten seasons ago. Being a coaching family is unique and the bond it forges between you and other coach's wives who just get you is irreplaceable. In the coaching lifestyle, the words 'bloom where you are planted' ring so much truth. Futures are uncertain and change lingers like hot coals in a campfire. In those moments of change, life propels us forward, tempting our faith and trust in God and His plans. Nonetheless the truth holds, He will take us exactly where He needs us to serve and it is there where we must embrace the change and bloom. Beauty, adventure, and excitement entice the unknown of the future and all the possibilities this life can bring. Fear, uncertainty, anxiety and stress try to slip in and steal the joy! However, I don’t know many wives who don’t absolutely love livin’ this life as a coach’s wife. One thing coaching families have in common: we measure life in seasons. There isn’t a ‘we coached there for two years.’ Instead, you hear, “We spent three seasons in Waco.” In ten seasons, we’ve been a part of six different coaching families; each one unique and marking a special place in my heart. With each new experience, my love for this coaching life has grown. With each new experience, I have embraced the new town, new people, new school, and new athletes. I have slowly started blooming in each new city, always taking a piece of that city with me and leaving a little piece of myself there too. 

A coach's wife: a part of my identity. It's who I am. It's why I am a gypsy and secretly love to purge and pack our lives into tiny cardboard boxes, stacking each box in the Uhaul like carefully placed puzzle pieces. Years ago a fellow wife reminded me that football is more than just a game, more than wins/loses. In fact this gentle reminder whispers in my ear, “our identity is more than how many games we’ve won or lost.” One thing that remains constant in this revolving door of change- win or lose we are still us. That is the mantra that we consistently have to remind ourselves: win or lose we are still us. Fans, parents and even school administration tend to measure a coach’s worth based on wins/loses. I know, it’s absolutely ridiculous to measure a coach’s worth on an expectation that a bunch of teenage boys are going to show up on a Friday and play an impeccably perfect game. With this reality looming in the darkness, the gentle reminder- win or lose we are still us- humbles our hearts after each loss and ignites our souls with each win. 

In the midst of the changes, the moves, the excitement, the uncertainty, there is one thing that requires no adapting- the magical moments that happen sitting in the stands on a Friday night underneath the stadium lights. The savory aroma of a good ol’ fashioned hot dog dances past your nose. A warm scent of buttery popcorn emanates the stifling, sticky air. A soft glow falls across the field under the breathtaking Texas sunset as spectators begin to fill their seats. Slivers of blue, silver and white begin to fill the stadium. It’s a Friday night in Texas-underneath the stadium lights is the only place to be. Football in Texas, the way of life with its own set of rules.

The stadium lights are big and bright

Deep in the heart of Texas