Surviving Football with Littles!

Looking at the calendar, football season is upon us. For many young children, attending their first football game is a rite of passage. That is unless you're a coach's kid and you've been attending football games since you were in the womb. It's no secret that the season can be a challenge when you have a little one running around, especially if that little one has multiplied into more than one!

In all honesty, there are times when it's hard to enjoy the season when you're juggling little ones, taking care of the house, and working full time. In my community of coach's wives, I have people ask all the time how do you navigate the chaos of the season with kids. My answer, you just have to find what works for you. Having been at the Division I level for three seasons, I can tell you that what works for you at one school may not work for you at the next school. We are currently at a smaller Division II school now, so I have found a little more freedom.

Nonetheless, I would like to offer some of my life saving hacks on surviving the season, with a smile, and two little boys.

1. Enjoy summer and the downtime. 

We enjoy a lot of time as a family before camp starts. You can make this small activities around town and simply having family game nights or movie nights at home. You can also take one last weekend getaway before football steals daddy away.

2. Communicate with your kids.

My five year old is gaining a better understanding of what it means when camp rolls in and the season starts. It helps him to enjoy the time that he does get to see dad. 

3. Take the kids to see coach as much as your time, and his time, allows.

Towards the end of camp I always take the kids up to watch practice and see dad. My boys love being around the team and at the field. The last Sunday of camp the team attends church and we also go. It just another moment for our family to bond with our football family. If my boys are really missing dad and it's been a few days since they've seen him, we pop in the office and just visit for a little bit. They get just enough of dad time to fill their love tanks and then they are happy campers again.

4. Set up play dates.

If you have other wives on staff with young children, set up play dates! Enjoy the adult conversation and the time to unwind.

5. Set a routine. Live the routine. 

As any parent knows, children flourish on structure. Fall camp means back to school as well, so when camp starts, we start our back to school schedules. Our evenings fall back into the usual regimen:gym(for mom of course), dinner, bath, bedtime. This can prove challenging during the season because sometimes they want to stay up to see daddy, but I try to stay consistent with bedtimes. As I mentioned earlier, if dad has made it home three nights in a row without seeing the boys then we will make a visit to the office and see dad.

Now, switching gears, lets talk about hanging with little during the season!

Here are some life hacks on handling football games with littles, like a boss!

1. If your children are young, invest in noise cancelling headphones. As the season progresses and it gets cooler you can swap out headphones for ear muffs or neoprene headbands. Both of these will provide noise reduction as well as keep the ears warm.

2. Dress for the weather.

When the season begins, we are usually plagued with smoldering hot conditions! Kids need sunscreen and hats. I also dress mine in dri-fit so they stay cool. As the weather cools off, be prepared for cooler temps. At kick off it might be sunny and 78, but as the sun goes down and it cools off to the 50s or 60s, chances are that you'll need a jacket or long pants for the littles. 

3. If you don't have stadium seating, invest in a good set of stadium seat pads! They will change your life! Especially when that one year old starts to snooze during the fourth quarter and you need to lean back.

4. Fill the sleep tanks!

If we have an early kick off I will wake the boys up early so that they can take an earlier nap. If we don't kick until 6:00, I let the boys sleep in later thus they take later naps. Nap time is everything and we never miss a nap time on a Saturday. 

5. Snacks/Drinks

Pack snacks and drinks! I know this luxury isn't an option for everyone, but if your stadium has more lenient rules then take advantage! I use a plastic container with compartments. You can find these at Hobby Lobby and Joann's. They make packing snacks so easy!

6. Electronics

I pack iPads for a security measure. Just in case we get antsy, I can put on Netflix and they're manageable for another good hour or so.

7. Help kiddos understand the game.

Our oldest is five now and he's taking more of interest in the game. This gives us a chance to bond and they learn about what daddy does all day. We read children's books about football so we can talk about what is happening on the field. One day he will impress his daddy with all his knowledge. 

8. Avoid strollers.

On a regular day, I am all about strollers. However they are not ideal for a stadium. If you have young little ones, I would suggest baby wearing. If you've never worn your baby, this is a good time to start! Your hands are free. Baby is usually pretty happy being snuggled up to mom. You don't have to worry about an escape from the stroller. (Side note: both of my boys were Houdini when it came to getting out of their strollers.)

If you see a fellow coach's wife struggling to wrangle in her herd at games, lend her a hand. She may not thank you immediately but in her heart she will! The saying holds, "it takes a village." It truly does and in coaching, your football family is your family. 

Jesus said LOVE.

When I first decided to create a blog, I never imagined I would be sitting here deciphering my emotions towards all the violence that is happening around us. Every post I've ever written has been about our awesome life in the fabulous world of football, but today is a little different.

My husband will tell you that I spend too much time on social media, and well, I can agree with that. With that said, I sit behind this computer screen with a heavy heart today. I think our nation as a whole has a heavy heart today.

As a white woman, I have a different perspective to the systemic race problem our nation faces. It's not just against blacks, but every minority race. As a white woman married to a black man, and raising young mixed boys into strong black men, I have an even different perspective.

Life is all about perspective and point of view. No two people's lives are the same. No two people react to a situation the same. No two people face the same struggles.

America, we lack perspective. We lack understanding and compassion. We lack empathy. We lack love. Jesus said love.

While I, like every other American, do not know every fact of the Alton Sterling shooting or the Philando Castile shootoings, I do several other facts.

Fact #1: RACIAL PROFILING IS REAL.
Racial profiling happens every day- both subconsciously and consciously.
America racially profiles Blacks, Muslims, Hispanics, Asians. Your very own Donald Trump racially profiles Hispanics. It happens. Understand that. Accept that and then we can move forward with change.

Studies show that police are more likely to pull over and frisk blacks or Latinos than whites. In New York City, 80% of the stops made were blacks and Latinos, and 85% of those people were frisked, compared to a mere 8% of white people stopped. THAT is racial profiling!

Fact #2

In 2012, 51% of Americans expressed anti-black sentiments in a poll; a 3% increase from 2008. Now, I am not a math person, but I do know that more than half of our nation has issues with Black America. I would feel safe in assuming that if they have those sentiments towards Blacks then they have the same feelings toward other minorities.

Fact #3

The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics concluded that an African American male born in 2001 has a 32% chance of going to jail in his lifetime, while a Latino male has a 17% chance, and a white male only has a 6% chance. Since I have two young boys, this stat really hits home. No, I don't need your sympathy or compassion. My boys have a good father. As parents we will raise our children and we will teach them respect, integrity, and character. However, that does not change the fact that they are 26% more likely to see jail time over a white kid. Black males lose their life and get incarcerated unjustly based on the color of their skin, their sagging pants, their "gang" tattoos EVERY SINGLE DAY. That is not to say that it doesn't happen to every other race, but it a greater percentage among the black community.

For you to deny that this exists in our nation, is pure ignorance on your part.

Fact #4:

Our nation needs more compassion and love. Yes, white people can sympathize and have compassion for Black America;, however, it is impossible to understand their feelings and their lives if you are white in America. 

Former house speaker Newt Gingrich summed up my thinking nicely. Here is an excerpt of his thoughts. The full article is linked below.

"It took me a long time, and a number of people talking to me through the years to get a sense of this," said Gingrich, who served as speaker from 1990 until 1995 and who represented an Atlanta-area congressional district for two decades.

"If you are a normal white American, the truth is you don’t understand being black in America," he said.

White Americans "instinctively underestimate the level of discrimination and the level of additional risk," he said.

LA Times: Newt Gingrich

Now as a coach's wife, I spend a lot of my time with black athletes and love each one as my own. I hear their stories and watch as people in their community racially profile them based on skin color. I watch them act in certain ways that they are "expected" to act based on the color of their skin.

If you missed Jesse William's speech from the BET Awards, I would recommend giving it a listen. Jesse William Speech

In closing yes all lives matter, but don't get on a soap box for #alllivesmatter when you never acknowledged #blacklivesmatter. If you support #alllivesmatter then you should support #blacklivesmatter and #policelivesmatter. Don't assume that racism is history when it is in our present and sadly will be in our future. 

The beautiful things about our nation, we have the freedom to have differing perspectives. With that freedom, we must learn to respect the opinions of others. 

Just like that...It's over

It feels like just yesterday that we were beginning fall camps... and now the 2015 season has came to an end. Saturday marked the final game our seniors would take the field as Savage Storm player. It also marked the 99th meeting of Southeastern and ECU, our biggest rival. I am proud to say that for the second consecutive year in a row, our team left with the Great American Classic trophy! Since this is our first season here, I have not had the chance to bond with many players who were not part of the defensive line. Our Dline is losing four young men and my heart breaks a little bit. There is one player in particular whom my husband has coached since he was just a kid and playing juco ball. He has watched him grow from a pup to young man.

This time of year is always a rough one. Football Scoop is overloaded with firings/interim fillings/possible firing speculations on daily basis. This is a trying time for a coaching family and my heart goes out to those families. This is the first season in awhile that our lives are not hanging in the balance and we know where we will be when Spring ball rolls around. Some of our coaching staff is experiencing these feelings for the first time and I pray for them. This life isn't always an easy one, and no one, except another coaching family, can even begin to understand what you're going through.

I have never been more proud of my husband! He just wrapped up his 7th season as a college football coach and recorded his sixth winning season! This season his defensive line boys made great strides and broke some school records. The "Get off the ball" strategy became a phrase we said daily in our house and it gave us some good laughs!

Although I am a little sad that the season is over, I am a tad bit excited for a sense of normalcy in our lives. But what is normalcy as a coaching family? Daddy still doesn't work 8-5 and weekends are guaranteed free! Before we know it we will be fully engulfed in recruiting trips and the hubs will once again be available on a limited basis, but for now we will enjoy some family time.

Teacher Life...Year 2

I have survived week one in 7th grade! I am exhausted and saw the chiropractor THREE times this week to adjust the pain and discomfort from being on my feet and teaching eight hours a day again! Lesson to be learned: during summer vacation be more active and maybe, just maybe you won't be so tired and worn down when you jump back into adult life.

I read somewhere that 40/50 percent of new teachers leave the education field within the first five years. They leave for various reasons, but bottom line I can completely understand why! Last year, as a new teacher, I was thrown into a sink or swim scenario. I almost sank, never truly swam, managed to tread water and made it through until the end!

I spent the fall pregnant with baby number two. I left school every day and took nothing home. Life was a breeze. I wasn't responsible for lesson plans, 504 plans, IEP plans, STAAR testing or any other daunting task teachers face. I was solely an inclusion support teacher. It was fantastic, but I wasn't loving where I was or what I was doing. I had the itch for my own classroom and my very own students. While on maternity leave I applied for other positions and other schools and had a few interviews. On February 2nd I began a new opportunity! 8th grade ELAR teacher at Cesar Chavez in Waco, Tx. I knew very little about the scenario I was about jump, feet first, into. A little background... The school is in deep with the Texas Education Agency for not meeting STAAR testing standards for three year running. The students, in general, were pretty disrespectful and lacked any motivation to learn. They were at school for their social life. So- coming into a situation like that, especially mid-year, made for a rough spring!

Coach was on the defensive staff at a small junior college so his hours were a little flexible. He stepped up to the plate and played Mr. Mom. I spent the Spring semester leaving every morning at six o'clock, before my babes were even awake, and made it home sometime between six and seven at night. The drive to Waco was an hour each way...a nice quiet hour...but it grew old pretty quick. I stayed late everyday and was there early every morning. I took lesson plans and grades home every night and every weekend. I was always trying to keep my head above water. The spring was not a great experience. I barely saw my babes. I was completely run down. I had no time or energy to get to the gym. I was gaining weight like crazy. My husband was the best support system through it all! He took the boys to and from school everyday. He held down the fort while I was commuting and working too late.  Finally June came! Summer vacation!

Fall is here, year two of teaching! Coach took a new job so naturally we spent the summer moving, adjusting to a new life and getting acquainted with new faces and places. I am at a new school and could not be more excited to be where I am. Coach is at Southeastern, a DII in Durant, OK and I am in Sherman, TX at Piner Middle School. So far I am loving being a part of Sherman ISD. I am loving even more the 25 minute commute to work...it is far better than the hour I was driving last year!

Life is pretty much back to normal. Coach is in football hours, so he's out of the house before light and home after dark. I am back into single mommy role. So for year two I have some goals for the school year!
1. I will bring home NO work during the week! NONE! No grades/lessons/504/IEP NOTHING!
2. Sundays will be reserved for family time in the morning and afternoon, but during nap time I will get my lesson plans finalized.
3. I will not pour all of me into my teacher role! I will save some of me for my babes, coach, and myself.
4. It's okay to leave school with a messy desk...It's #teacherlife
5. I will make time for the gym a few days a week- I have got to keep my self sane! With coach in full swing for the season and single mom life reality, the gym is the only way I stay sane and relieve stress.

So to my fellow educators, seasoned or brand new, if I can give you any advice it would be... as a teacher you will never be "caught up." There will always be a paper to grade, a meeting to attend, a form to get filled out by a deadline. Take the time for yourself and for your family. Teacher life will still be there in the morning when you get back.

Here's a few snapshots of this years classroom. I am all about positive vibes and motivating my students!

Just some positive vibes!

The SWAG sign has been fixed to have the proper spelling of success.

Objective and Process TEK with EQ!

The view you have walking into my class!

Life after camp...

Life for the Haywoods has been a whirlwind lately! In between fall camp, back to school for my Pre-K baby, getting my classroom ready, and writing lesson plans I haven't much "me" time- or gym-time as I refer to it as. Needless to say my muscles are screaming for a few good lifting days! In true Kristen fashion I am sure this blog post will rambled and all over the spectrum. 

First thoughts...Fall Camp has come to an end and I see my handsome guy a few hours more a week! Camp ended on a good note! I got some great photos for memories to look back on in the years to come! Best photo of camp week hands down is one of a few defensive guys playing with my boys. AJ was fortunate enough to get some life advice from a few guys.

#DEATHROW #2015

We had our first family picture for the media guide! Is anyone ever photogenic outside in bright sunshine and 100 degree heat? I know I am not! One week from today and our season kicks of at home! Ready for next week and to begin the season with the first W over Henderson State! #GoSoutheastern. 

Although camp has come to an end, the time I see the man of the house is limited. I get kisses every morning around 5:30, just as I am incoherently wiping the drool off my cheek. If we are lucky, about once a week we get to have an actual dinner with the whole family! 

First week of school was this week... one more day and I will have survived my first year in seventh grade! Still so much to get done, as far as lesson planning and getting final touches on the classroom but hey it will all get where it needs to be eventually...that's what I keep telling myself any way. I was in such a good gym flow and then BAM! Teacher life has sucked me back in like the deep abyss of the sea. With any luck I will have paddled my way out just enough to leave before 5:00 every day and make it to my date nights with weights and protein shakes.

Goals for next week are to get ahead of lesson plans (hahahaha I like to tell teacher jokes) and get back into the gym! I am going to dive into Jamie Eason's newest regime "From Flat to All That!" I have included the link to get her week one and two circuits!Join in if you dare! Weeks 1-2 Jamie Eason

~Until next time! Cheerio!

Full Swing!

As most are aware college football is now in FULL SWING! Camps have begun! Hello to early mornings before the sun arises and nights that end long after the sun has gone down! It never fails we are entering the hottest days of the year- just in time for two-a-days!

As a football wife you have two choices: embrace this crazy life or resent your husband for choosing this career path. I choose to accept this life and embrace it- Arms wide open! Part of that embracing this life business is looking at the positive side of things about camp. For those negative Nancy's out there who cringe and curse their husband's during camp, I encourage you to make a list of the positives about camp life!

Here are some POSITIVES I look forward to every August!

1. Meal preps come back into full swing (and I always tend to slim down a little because of this)
During summer when coach has more free evenings, we dine out A LOT! We are foodies, so naturally we enjoy dinner out with the kiddos. I can meal prep and never eat out. I will cook for days at a time, coach comes home and says "How about we go get fajitas tonight." Naturally I am all in. I tell my inner fat kid that we will just have a few chips and bask in the meat and veggies of fajitas. Although this never happens. It never fails I have engulfed an entire cup of queso/salsa and a bowl of chips. So for this reason I enjoy camp and the season because the days of dinner out are long gone! I go back to meal prep and eating clean. My body thanks me for this!

2. Me time...also known as gym time. Now that coach is occupied sun up to sun down, I have the time schedule my days as I want. The time has come, he is already busy so I no longer feel guilty leaving him at home to catch my exercise class. In the weeks leading up to camp, I always slack on my workouts because we are trying to fit in as much us time and time with the kids before he is gone day in and day out.

3. GAME DAY! I mean who doesn't look forward to game days? Tailgates and watching those boys out there are what we live for! On Saturdays in that stadium is usually the longest span of time that coach and I are in the same vicinity from August- December- well except for in bed sleeping of course. Although when you think about it he comes home long after I've usually gone to bed and he's up before I roll over.

4. The little moments...
Because coach and I don't get to spend too much time together during season, especially camp weeks, I get the chance to do all the cheesy little things that made him swoon for me long ago. I get to leave little love notes in his backpack and color fun things on the mirror for him to see. I get to get crafty and make him game day treats. I am crafty little lady and I like making him things. The season is a perfect time for all this. It gives us a way to connect while we are both busy.


5. Parading my minions around the office. The boys and I make impromptu visits to surprise dad and say, "Hi!" Everyone always enjoys seeing the boys and really...who doesn't love holding a squishy baby?

This year for camp I am making some fun football shape cookies for the coaches and players and then I am making pounds of homemade chex mix for coach to keep at the office to snack on throughout the weeks. I am also whipping up some fun treats for coach's players- just his position group. Here is the start of a little something... The smaller ones will be for the players and the big one I am going to frame for coach.

These are the days I get most excited about.

Spouses in Sports

There are not many who understand what life is like as a football family and a coach's wife. I wouldn't say we are on the same playing field as a military wife, but some of the same emotions and daily life can really coincide- except, thankfully, I don't have to add the anxiety and fear of my husband never making it home to my list of worries.

In recent weeks I have became a part of an online community of coach's wives and I am already relaxing just a little bit about camp. It's comforting to know I am not the only one going through all the motions and secretly deep down inside already missing my husband more than words can say- and hey we are still three days out from camp- so life hasn't even really began yet! Adrian gives me a hard time about being a social media junkie, and well admitting it is the first step--- so yes I am addicted to social media. I use to scroll Facebook and see what was new on my news feed, but now I find myself scrolling through a few of the football wive's groups I am in on Facebook. It makes the days easier when you read about other women who are in your exact same situation. There is no one better that understands this life like another football wife. I also have joined Spouse in Sports and on my to do list is joining the American Football Wives Association. Coach's wives if you are not already a member, I urge you to join! You can never have too much support in this life we live.

Everywhere we have been, I have bonded with the women of the staff. Coach's families become your family. In the football world, if you are lucky, you miss Thanksgiving AND Christmas with your traditional family. Yet you spend it with your football family. At the Division I level if you are home for Christmas, well lets be honest- You didn't win enough games and didn't make it to post-season play or you won just enough for an early bowl game but you'll make it home in time for Christmas. Either one of those scenarios is not where a coach hopes to be. Coach's plan to spend the holidays in Phoenix, Pasadena, Florida, Arlington and the list goes on for prime bowl spots to be invited too.

When coach gets the call, and new job is on the horizon it's scary but exciting and we are all happy yet a little sad. After Adrian finished his masters and three years as a GA at Baylor the time came to find a new home. We were both said to leave Baylor. BU was family. Over the years we had grown close with several people and now it was time move along in the coaching world. He ended up at a Junior College in Corsicana, Texas. The season was a rough one. Adrian wasn't always happy and there wasn't a sense of family between the coach's and families. I spent a lot of time alone in Corsicana, well as alone as you can be with a chatty four year old. We are now at Southeastern, a D2 school in southeast Oklahoma. The staff here is family and many have been here together for a long time or they played here and now coach. Each get together I get a little close with the wives, but many have yet to understand the constant moving. My coach's goal is a DC spot at the Division 1 level and I can tell you we won't stop until he's there. 

People tell me all the time, oh you can't move your kids that much or say oh it will be too hard for them to make new friends. Well coach's families are resilient and can adapt. It's what we do, it's how we live and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Camp begins SATURDAY! Just a few more days and it's going to be hello single mom life! If I want my house to be somewhat presentable and the kids halfway decent, I have to step up! Dad won't be helping with bath time or feeding the baby while I cook dinner- nope he will still be at the office so that all falls on me! So does doctor appointments, back to school night with our new Pre-K kiddo, and all the other mommy duties! Along with pre-k, Zaden is starting soccer this fall. Someone tried to explain to me that if his dad couldn't make his first games then we should wait to spring. Well dear let me explain to you that in a football family, there is no "off season" for coaches. If they aren't breaking down game film and practice then they are recruiting. If it isn't recruiting then it is spring ball, so even if we wait until Spring chances are daddy will still be missing games. But hey we are in 2015 that's what video technology and Face time are for! So daddy can still be a part of the memories!

So basically I want to say Thank You to all the coach's wives I have already became friends with in these social media forums. Some of us may be rivals on the field but off the field we support each other and lend an ear or a tissue when it is most needed. Good Luck to everyone for the season!

Like reading about our crazy lives? Check out some of these blogs from really great women I've connected with!
Footballwifelife: Game Planning
Lifeasafootballwife: August in a Coaching family
Thesimplysouthern: Love Letters to Coach
InchbyInch: It's just around the bend
CoachG'sWife: It's Here
fx4fit: lfriday-night-sister-wife